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June 21, 2011


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What happened with James? Why did it end? I love your life Kelly. You deserve it!


We met online. He was in TN, I was in IL. When we finally met in person in KY, it seemed like we were better as friends.


1- that photo of the child outside the burning house is truly disturbing. how did you even find it?

2- I almost always read your blog in my feed reader, so I don't recall seeing the popular search section on the side there.

2a- those popular search words, in the order seen above, are strangely rhythmic and I feel they would not be out of place at a poetry slam.

Thank you for this post.


Hey Shannon, I did a google image search for "evil children.: I was hoping to find a bunch of awful bratty kids screaming or something to illustrate the fact that maybe it's OK to be childfree, and she popped up. This image, which was an unposed news shot, was all over the internet about a year ago(?).


Ahhh...Bono's eyes. :) Will you get to see them (them = U2, not necessarily Bono's eyes) again in Chicago in a couple of weeks?

My husband and I are in the throes of making decisions in our newly-discovered context of infertility, and it just sucks. It is an infinitely personal journey, and there is in no way a "one size fits all" solution. So props to you and Jeff for finding and embracing the route that is best for you!


when I clicked on the recipe for carbonara from Giada....I got a Tampax page!


Sorry about that! Fixed now.

Meghan C

As a mom, I can tell you you're decision wasn't selfish or bad. You're completely right. Kids take your life away from you, at least until they are 18 and even then you're so invested in them that time you can't stop obsessing. I wouldn't change the fact that I have children, but I envisioned my life being a lot different than it is right now. When I read Alizarine I catch myself jealous of the unstereotypical "fairytale" life you've made!


Hi Kelly! I read your blog all the time since I stumbled upon it through your sister Emily's YouTube videos. I just wanted to say that took a lot of strength to put your decision out there on the internet for all to see. Your life with Jeff seems absolutely wonderful and I wish nothing but the best for you. (P.S. I am in LOVE with your artwork and if I wasnt a poor graduate student I would pay you to paint a portrait for me in a heartbeat!)


I just love you...That is all :)


Oh, yeah...Forgot to say that I am even more in love with your work!! You're an AMAZING artist and you're right, if you had children, your painting time would have been DRAMATICALLY reduced or perhaps even zapped! No one can tell YOU what decision is right for YOU, but from the outside looking in it sure appears to have been the right one to me!

And one day, I WILL win the lottery and be able to commission you to do something for my art wall -- or even purchase one of your already done works. I find your painting style AMAZING and I've not seen one thing that you've done that I would not own (including the paintings you've done of Jeff! Love your work so much that I'd even hang a stranger on my wall!!)

Ok, I've embarrassed myself enough now. Thanks for reading :)


Thanks to all of you for reading and commenting. This was something I've been thinking about writing for months (with Jeff's blessing, as it also involves him). I thought about doing a post strictly on "infertile," but I wanted to make it a bit more entertaining for my readers.

I wanted to add that when my sister Emily/Poof learned about this a few years ago, she immediately said to Mom, "I want you to share me." She's the closest thing to a daughter that I will ever have, and I love her more than I can say.


Hi there. Found (and LOVE) your blog because I'm a fan of your sisters. I'll make this short and sweet. 31yrs old,together 13yrs(married 10).No kids and no plans to have any (multiple reasons, some medical). My husband has a HUGE family one brother has 5kids, a total a 13 nieces and nephews on his side. Needless to say he did want kids but over the years has definately seen the benefits of not having them, loves me more than life, and has realized children do not make life worth living! My sister is 34 and also has no children and no plans of any...my Mother has made it clear she is disappointed at the prospect of never being a grandparent but she hasnt mentioned it lately so I think she's comming to terms with it finally. We do get alot questions from friends, family, and the occasional complete stranger as to why which I find invasive and simple minded...feel like asking them in return why their marriage is falling apart, why their kids are in trouble, why they don't have a better job or at least hobby they enjoy..anyway, thanks for sharing your story:)we have 4dogs,1 inside cat, and a litter of outside barn cats (all well taken care of)and our life could not be more fulfilling!!I do believe in God and absolutely know for certain that He did not create all people for the sole purpose of reproducing.


Thank you for your comment, Heather, and congratulations on your happy marriage.

My parents support us in this, and they know how special Jeff is. They adore him and can see how happy he makes me. I didn't tell them about our inability to have a baby until after they fell in love with him, too. While I didn't like having to evade their inevitable questions about us starting a family, I wanted them to see how great we were together before writing him off.

Dad says I speak for "a silent minority" with this blog. I know I would have been a good mother, but now I can be a lot of other things.


Dear Kelly:

You rock.

That is all.



Thank you kindly, ma'am. :)


Hi Kelly,
I've not followed your blog in a long while. A doctoral program will do that to you. But I checked in last week and have been catching up.

You are an incredible, beautiful, talented woman who is living her own dream life (not someone else's ideals). You are an example to all women who follow you, especially the young ones.



This is my favorite blog post of yours ever. Some people are just nosy and stupid. And if the couldn't figure out how to turn down an oven to keep their cookies from burning, I'm not sure they should be going near an oven....

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