Buttermilk chocolate cake

Have you ever thought about your death row meal?  The meal you'd ask for on the day that you're going to be executed?  As screwed up as the whole idea of capital punishment is (and I'm sorry, I'm against it; there's no scenario you can throw at me that will change my mind, even if the victim is Jeff, Poof, Bun, or U2), and as crazy as the idea of eating before being put to death is (how can you possibly eat anything at all that day?), the death row meal I come back to again and again is simple: an entire chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.  No question about it.

 

I've made a number of chocolate cakes over the years, ranging from humble (Mom's "wacky cake") to snooty (Jeff's birthday cake) to experimental (pour a Guinness in there!), and the best thing I have ever eaten was a chocolate cake I had in Florence.  I will go to great lengths in the name of chocolate cake.  Yesterday, though, I was feeling thrifty and had some oddball ingredients I needed to use up: buttermilk and whole wheat pastry flour.  None of my cookbooks were interested in helping me, so I asked my pal The Internet.  After wading through many recipes on the dubious-seeming iFood.tv, I found a recipe for something called Chocolate Lover's Cake.

 

The cake this recipe makes is one of those humble, heavy but not damp, utilitarian cakes I'd imagine I'd bake on a semi-regular basis if I were the mother of several horrifying teenage boys, boys who barge into the kitchen, scoop cake out of the pan with their bare hands, shove the cake into their faces, and leave a bunch of crumbs all over the floor without even thanking me, those jerks.

 

INGREDIENTS

 

• 3 cups whole wheat flour  <-- I had whole wheat pastry flour, which you can find in the hippie-flour section of most stores; you know the brand, the one with the unappealing Wilford Brimley-esque bearded man with the little hat?
• 2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup cocoa  <-- I tried Dutch, but I'm sure regular cocoa would be fine here.
• 3 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs
• 2 cups buttermilk
• 1 cup cooking oil <-- Annoyed at the vagueness, I did a 50-50 mix of canola and vegetable oil.
• 3 teaspoons vanilla
• 1 cup hot water
• Chocolate frosting (recipe follows)

DIRECTIONS

 

In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.

In a separate bowl, beat eggs, and add buttermilk, cooking oil, and vanilla.  I used an electric hand mixer.

Add to the dry ingredients and beat until smooth.  I continued to use the hand mixer for this, but I didn't beat it forever.  Just enough to get to "smooth" and that was it.

Add the hot water last, and mix well.  Again with the mixer.

Pour into a greased and floured 9 x 13inch baking dish, and bake in a 350F oven for 45 to 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

When completely cool, frost with chocolate frosting.

 

CHOCOLATE FROSTING

 

This frosting recipe comes from Martha Stewart's recipe for Surprise Cookies.  We didn't have enough chocolate chips in the house yesterday, so I had to find an all-cocoa recipe instead.  This one is out of control, and those cookies were incredible enough to inspire me to scrawl "INSANE!" on that page of Martha's pretty pretty cookbook.  I'll have to show you how to make them sometime.

 

FROSTING INGREDIENTS

• 3 cups confectioners' sugar
• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
• 1/4 cup plus 1 1/2 t. cocoa powder  <-- "Not Dutch!!" Martha's commands thee.  Also, can't she just say "a heaping 1/4 cup"?  Jeez.
• 1/4 cup plus 2 T. milk  <-- DITTO.
• 3/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS

 Place confectioners' sugar in a medium bowl. Whisk in butter and cocoa powder. Add milk and vanilla, and whisk until well combined.

NOTE: This cake is even moister and better on Day 2.

Comments

[melinda]

Three things:
1. That Guinness cake is destined for great things, namely, the kick-off to my 41st birthday binge.

2.Rushmore is on my eternal top ten, thanks in part to the the two-fisted existential torment personified by Ronnie and Donnie: "Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I'd have sons like these."

3.I wish Moister Moister would get back together. That would be so rad.

That is all. Excellent as always, Kels.

[Kelly]

1. Thank you Mels! It was fun to make, and you can definitely taste the presence of the Guinness. I found it a little off-putting, but then again I don't drink Guinness. :)

2. Oh. Rushmore is SO in my top ten. And the characters of Ronnie and Donnie are clearly based on actual teenagers I see in my classroom everyday. Having them around for 45 minutes is torture, but actually living with them and knowing that you are responsible for bringing them into the world...what a nightmare that must be. The world needs more Dirk Calloways. ("Fondly, Dirk Calloway")

3. Unfamiliar with M.M.

[melinda]

Moister Moister is my 6:35AM idea of an hilarious wisecrack at the expense of 80's band Mr. Mister. Half a day later? Not so much.

[bj]

Great recipe. It's on for tomorrow. I think the whole wheat will lend a good dense texture to complement the rich chocolate?
Thanks.

[Elizabeth]

Hands down I would be there with you on the last thing to eat. Add a cup of coffee to it and that would be my last meal!
Your recipe looks amazing. I'm kind of wondering why they didn't have butter instead of the oil? I make this one from Gourmet magazine that is to die for! The frosting on this bad boy has at least two kinds of melted chocolate in it. If you go on epicurious, and punch in Chocolate layer cake with chocolate frosting...it will come up for Gourmet February 2004. I make it every year for my daughter's birthday.

[marisa]

LOL you can't "heap" milk!
XD

[Libby]

Hi, Kelly. I'm a first-time commenter, but fun fan of your blog and U2 cartoons! I've been considering getting a Nigella Lawson cookbook, and your post put me over the edge about "How to Be a Domestic Goddess." But the customer reviews say the measurements are off. What is your advice? Do you use the UK or US version? Thanks!

[Lucrecia]

Hi Kelly!!

Came upon you thanks to your sister's blog, and I love both your blogs so much!! You guys are great!! Both so positive and full of life and information. Keep it Up!!! LOVE.

[Kelly]

Libby, I'd definitely get the US version of Domestic Goddess. The measurements are a little on the odd side (obviously converting metric measurements to cups/tablespoons won't always result in nice round numbers). So sometimes when I use it I find myself measuring out 2/3 C + 2 teaspoons of cocoa or whatever, which is kind of a pain but ultimately worth it. Her recipes are fantastic and I adore the way she describes and explains things.

Thanks to all my new readers!