Birthday treats in the lounge

Martha.  Nigella.  Paula.  Amy.  These women and eight sticks of butter made the above faculty lounge birthday gorge-fest possible.  Oh and me.  Pulling this thing together while holding down a full time job was no small feat, I've got to say.

See, every school year we draw names, and each participant has to provide birthday treats for the person whose name they draw.  I was pleased to get Barb's name because (a) she is a very nice person and (b) her birthday comes with an automatic fall/Thanksgiving theme.  For some teachers, providing treats means opening up a bag of little chocolate donuts, filling a bowl with M&Ms, and calling it a day.  And this is fine.  IT'S FINE.  But others have to be show-offs and never know when to give it a rest.  And then there's me...and this week marked my birthday treat descent into madness.  It was a special kind of crazy involving multiple lists, diagrams, after school shopping strategies, meal rearrangement, and extreme disinterest in all household chores.  

So we're talking about lemon bars, 80+ sugar cookies (some of them small), "surprise cookies," the heavyset cheese ball (it's expected of me now), and the exact same fall yule log that I made last month with a couple of birthday accommodations.  Recipes for the lemon bars, which are very easy to make, and the surprise cookies, which are fiddly but fabulous, are below.

 

LEMON BARS (recipe by Paula Deen, italics by me)

INGREDIENTS

• 2 sticks butter, melted
• 2 C flour
• 1 C powdered sugar
• 1/4 t salt
• 6 eggs
• 3 C sugar
• 3 T lemon zest
• 1/2 C fresh lemon juice
• 1 C flour

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350.  Spray a 9 x 13 inch pan (or glass baking dish) with cooking spray.

To make the crust, combine the butter, flour, powdered sugar, and salt in a medium/large bowl.  Mix with a spoon or fingers until well combined.  Shape into a ball and pat into the prepared pan.  As with many Paula recipes, it will seem buttery to the point of insanity.  Bake for 14 minutes, until set. 

Filling: while the crust is baking, using an electric mixer on medium speed, beat together the eggs, sugar, zest, lemon juice, and flour.  Pour over the baked crust and bake for an additional 22-25 minutes.  Let cool completely, then sift powdered sugar over the top.  Cut, then cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until serving.

I've made these so many times that Paula's cookbook automatically opens to that page, which is warped and stained with lemon juice.  These are the real deal and pack a huge lemon punch, even better than the lemon bar I had at the Detroit airport Starbucks in 2005 (I realize no one will know what I'm talking about, but damn that was a great lemon bar).  Feel free to go crazy with the zest.  I have a zester that creates tiny yellow ribbons, but a regular microplane works great here too.  This year I decided (i.e. forgot) to dust them with powdered sugar.  This ended up being a good idea because the powdered sugar does not have much to stick to and all people do is choke on it.  But it's still pretty; proceed with caution.

SURPRISE COOKIES (recipe by Martha Stewart, italics by me)

INGREDIENTS

for the cookies:

• 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 12 large marshmallows, cut in half horizontally

for the frosting:

• 2 cups confectioners' sugar
• 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt; set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add egg, milk, and vanilla, and beat until well combined. Add reserved flour mixture; mix on low speed until combined.

Using a 1 3/4-inch ice cream scoop (ahem, yeah, hold on, I'll totally grab that), drop dough onto ungreased baking sheets, about 2 inches apart. Bake until cookies begin to spread and become firm, 10 to 12 minutes.

Meanwhile, make the frosting. Place confectioners' sugar in a medium bowl. Whisk in butter and cocoa powder. Add milk and vanilla, and whisk until well combined.

Remove baking sheets from oven, and place a marshmallow, cut-side down, in the center of each cookie, pressing down slightly. Return to oven, and continue baking until marshmallows begins to melt, 2 minutes. Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool completely before frosting.  Spread about 1 tablespoon of frosting over each marshmallow, starting in the center and continuing outward until marshmallow is covered.

These cookies are delightful.  I made the dough a week ahead, froze it, and baked them the night before the party.  Martha might lead you to believe that these cookies stack well, but they don't, and this is not the kind of frosting you want to harden.  They're delicate little chocolate bonbons and should be treated as such.

I iced (if by iced you mean killed, and if by killed you mean made completely awesome) these leaf cookies with various fall colors and painted veins on them with watered-down gel food coloring.

 

Here are most of the different shapes.  I also made some oak leaves and large pumpkins.  The turkeys were nothing but fun and I fully intend to make them throughout the year.  As much as I love owls, they're very 2007 (don't you roll your eyes at me, owl!).  I'm going to go ahead and declare 2010 the Year of the Turkey.

Comments

[melinda]

All that *and* two Heavyset Cheeseballs? Day-um! And PS thanks for putting the HC on my radar again. I'm like a heroin addict except for Heavyset Cheeseballs, so now begins the cycle of obsession and shame.

[Kelly]

Frankly, I'm amazed that I managed to get all of the cheeseball onto the platter without eating the majority of it. Rest assured that I scraped that bowl CLEAN and ate the remnants, at least, scooping it up with dud almonds.

One of the teachers said, "This is the best thing I have ever eaten." And I didn't have the heart to tell her that it was mainly just cream cheese and mayonnaise. Like, that's all it takes to blow your mind? Toss a little bacon in there and you're a damned food zombie? But I'm just projecting here.

[GinaE]

Barb was so lucky you were the one to provide for her birthday! I am making the heavset cheese ball this year. Can't wait. Also, your new floor looks great. I have dogs and cats, so it would be a good choice for me too, especially since I have to do it myself.

[melinda]

It's really wrong how simple the HC is, considering its ability to hijack and enslave the brain's neurotransmitters. It's like looking at a pretty little poppy flower and realizing that it played a signifigant role in the death of Janis Joplin.