It's ice cream season again--like it ever stopped. Jeff and I live within walking distance of a Dairy Queen. It's also a restaurant that serves hamburgers, etc., as opposed to one of those seasonal, exclusively-ice cream shacks with an open window where you place your order. In case you're not familiar with the institution that is Dairy Queen, it's an American restaurant chain that offers soft-serve ice cream products, some of them involving high-maintenance mix-ins, waffle cones, or embarrassing names such as MooLatte.
My go-to order at Dairy Queen is very simple: small hot fudge sundae. I don't like the ice cream very much and often describe its flavor as WHITE, but I love the hot fudge. They never, ever seem to dole out enough fudge, wouldn't you agree? I've never eaten a small hot fudge sundae that made me say, "Ooh. WAY too much fudge on that one." In fact, I've been tempted to go up to the counter and demand a cup of just the fudge.
(Jeff is Milhouse.)
I mean, the ratio of ice cream to fudge is way off. Over the years I have developed a strategy to balance things out, at least during the last half of my eating time. I call it The Drill.
First, hold your spoon vertically, with the scoop end on the tip of the sundae. Slowly press down while rotating the spoon as if you were using a screwdriver. Your objective here is to hollow out the mountain of ice cream, eating it as you excavate. This is the dull part, as the ice cream tastes like WHITE, but you need to get it out of there, and you will be rewarded for your efforts.
Continue drilling your hole until you hit the bottom of the sundae cup. Bonus points if you have encountered no fudge cave-ins during this process.
Now you can eat the rest of the sundae. Notice how the ice cream-to-fudge ratio seems closer to correct than ever before!
I would also like to point out a big design flaw in the Dairy Queen sundae cup: those D-shaped indentations near the rim that do nothing more than trap fudge. For a restaurant whose fudge-dispensing practices are stingy at best, these indentations just seem cruel.